Eighteenth
- R D M
- Nov 9, 2015
- 4 min read
For my uncle, whom I wish was there during that special night.
Bliss—a noun meaning ‘complete happiness’. For the absolute first time in my eighteen years of existence, I feel like my life’s puzzle pieces are finally coming along. The way I imagined myself in the future 2 years ago when I was making that ‘lifetime bucket list’, is finally drafted in an image. I can’t exactly put into words about how I am feeling right now, but that is what complete bliss is supposed to be. The day I turned eighteen, I was stressed out of my mind. I was too busy with academics, overflowing checklists were the only things you could on my desktop, and even on my phone. All I had in my mind was that I had to accomplish everything, before the deadline. I had this mindset ever since I started in school. I had this somewhat unhealthy habit of prioritizing school and homework and everything in between before my family, friends, and even the simplest act of going to church. It was wrong I know, but in my mind, this toxic habit was my way of investing into my future. The amount of time I allotted now for school, will be doubled once I reach that peak of my successful life, but when that time comes, the hours and minutes and days would be dedicated to my loved ones, and the things that truly matter.
But I am getting ahead of myself. I’ll take you four months back, in a rooftop of a hotel familiar with my childhood, along with the significant people of my life. My eighteenth was nothing I had anticipated, in fact, I expected nothing from them. Because I was too busy ‘investing’ for my future, I had no idea how to celebrate my eighteenth birthday. It was not ideal for me to do the clichéd debut celebration where you get to wear big and flowing gowns-no offense to my future debutant friends-but the thought of the memory being similarly close to others makes it ‘ordinary’.
My boyfriend told me that the two of us were going on a date for my eighteenth, which was unsuspecting for me. From school, he waited for my last night class to dismiss and we went straight to Alabang. Again, I still wasn’t suspecting anything, I even messaged my mom that we were heading out, and she was totally fine with it. He told me that his aunt was waiting for us in her office—which was the hotel obviously, but then again, I was too gullible for not noticing it. We went into the elevator, then walked up the stairs to the rooftop. I even told him that his aunt had an elegant office, his acting skills were so good I never suspected a thing during the trip.
Then I heard singing, some chattering, then some voices hushing the noise, before I was able to contemplate what was waiting for me in there, balloons were falling, familiar faces I’ve known my whole life were singing happy birthday, and this big rose bouquet was handed to me. There was even a Ford Mustang cake. It was my surprise eighteenth birthday celebration. Who’d even thought that on a Tuesday night, where I was currently bombarded with school requirements, that this was going to happen.
I saw my friends from high school, my friends from college, and even my friends from my neighborhood. My grandparents were there, my cousins, my sister and most especially my mom—who was solely responsible for the whole surprise, along with the help of my best friend and my boyfriend. I couldn’t fathom nor process into words or emotions what I was feeling inside, do I cry, do I smile, do I just stare at the floor because people looking at me gives me terrible anxiety, or do just go along with it. Whatever the case, it was the best night of my life. Literally and figuratively.
I will be forever thankful that God has given me that special night along with the special people in my life. I’d never thought that I was going to be that significant to others when all I prioritized was the grade I was going to get after every end of the semester. I never thought my boyfriend, whom I have known for almost seven years, is still putting up with me after all the hell we’ve been through. I never thought I’d make my best friend cry during her speech, and my childhood friend too, who was a great role model to me may I add. I never thought my sister, the fashion guru and my bully at the same time, prepared this long speech for me. I never thought my guy friends, whom I’ve known since high school to ‘talkshit’ (never committing to an agreed time and place of a scheduled hangout), was present and were my slow-dancing princes throughout the knight. Never thought my grandparents, who were too tired during that time of night, was still there to give me those gorgeous roses. I never thought my mom was this considerate and compassionate about her first daughter. I never thought I was this special.
“You do not realize what I am doing, but later you will understand” (John 13:7). Looking back I saw how necessary it was to just pause, and appreciate what God gave me throughout the eighteen years of my life. These were the people and the reason behind who I am today. What I love, what I hate, what I get excited about, or what makes me depressed. These were the people, no matter how ecstatic or tremendous my moments in life may be, that were present and who never left. They accepted me for who I was, am, and will be.
To everyone who has been and will still be a part of my life, I want you to know that I am endlessly grateful for the kind of friendship that we had, and will be having. I want you to know that no matter what we go through, I’ll never leave and drop you because I know how that felt like. I want you to know that I’ll love this bond that we made and are going to make, and I will treasure it forever. The universe that I am in right now, no matter how diverse it may seem, will always be beautiful to me because of the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve been in.
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