Humble Beginnings

Looking back I never thought I'd be the person that I am right now. Preparing for the first day of the second semester tomorrow, sitting on my bed with a laptop on my hands, playing a Justin Bieber and Halsey song as I go through this late night composition. I started blogging two years ago, when I was on the brink of endless dilemmas and a quicksand of criticisms that aggressively pulls me down until I suffocate with unneeded judgement.

The reason why I started blogging was primarily because of my uncle. He loved taking me to musicals and letting me experience adventures I've never had before. He wanted every bit of it to be documented and narrated like this, like the way I write my articles now. Initially I wasn't into writing, I had no interest in composing and expressing my feelings into words. I loved reading, but I never finished a book because I hated the way a story is supposed to have an end. I hated the feeling of getting back into the inevitable sense of reality and be part of the everyday mediocrity that I am in. But I'm getting ahead of myself, that's another story.

I gave blogging a shot and started writing down my feelings, the way a personal blog is supposed to be written. It helped me because it was the time when I dropped out of the first university I've enrolled to when I started college. I left because I was not happy, and felt like it wasn't for me. Sure it was fun hanging out with brand new people everyday, and seems like I get to experience something for the first time when I was there. First bar, first night class, first dorm, and more. A lot of people threw their opinions at me, saying that I wasted the chance since it was one of the top universities in the country. Unfortunately I wasn't able to figure out this passion or 'calling' of mine before enrolling to that well-known university. I was only urged to take the chance because 1. It was UP Los Banos and 2. I thought I was okay taking up Industrial Engineering--everyone said that I should be an engineer since I was great at math--so I did. I talked to my mom about it, about dropping out and pursuing a career that I really loved.

Are you familiar with that feeling you get when you left the door unlocked after leaving the house, or you forgot your phone at home on your way to school or work? It's uneasy, irritating and bugging the hell out of your head. That was the feeling I got during my stay there, only anxiety and unexpected palpitations every other night made it worse. I was alone in my dorm room of course, which was probably why I call my mom every now and then just to let my feelings out.

As soon as I dropped out it seemed like a huge painful rock was lifted off my back. But I still needed to figure out which school I was supposed to go to. My first choice was UST, since I was able to pass the exam there and my chosen course during senior highschool. But they wouldn't let me enroll there since I already took the USTET and forfeited my slot. It was devastating. It was and still my dream school until today.

Enrolling to DLSU-D wasn't on my priority list to be frank. Although they were known for a 100% passing rate on CPA board exams, they had few exam takers. But every dream that turns into success stories starts with humble beginnings. And here I am, already on the second semester of my second year in Accountancy. It was a bumpy road and every one who thought that this was handed to me on a silver platter is dead wrong. I spent almost eight whole months worrying about my future because I wasn't able to enroll to my dream school as planned. There were lots of requirements from different offices of school department heads that I went back and forth to for days. The look on my mom's face every time one of her friends bring up the 'choice' that I did when I dropped out was too hard to look at for me. It was her dream for me to be the first in our family to gradute from UP, I wanted to give her that, but what would happen to me if I fulfilled HER dream? And not mine?

That was why I took every drop of motivation I have in pursuing this course. Accountancy wasn't also my first love since it involved endless financial statements with sleepless nights. I wanted to give my mom that CPA license she wasn't able to get when she took the board exam. I wanted to fulfill MY dream, and at the same time fulfill HERS.

I promised my mom I'd excel at college. I won't make her think that she made a wrong decision. I didn't and still do not regret dropping out of UP. It was the best turning point for me, it taught me a lot. UP taught me a lot. Three more years and I'll finally prove myself and to others that prestigious univerisities do not define your worth, but following yoour passion does.

#blog