Colors

“The world is better in black and white”

Colors weren’t really meant to last. At one point in your life, you looked at the ocean and decided that it was blue. But then you looked closer and deeper, and you realize that it was only the sky’s reflection. For once, I passionately think that the world—my life—really is better in black and white. I can’t live my life expressing every emotion I am currently feeling or else I’ll implode. I want to see the good in the bad, and the bad in the good; black and white are two opposites, meant to be apart, yet somehow they perfectly contrast one another.

You see, not everything is meant to last in this world. Including the way someone treats you, and the way you treat her. Just like the ocean, a person—particularly someone you love—becomes a reflection of who you really are. You water a plant twice to three times a day and it gives you a bountiful harvest. Leave it for weeks during the drought, and you spend months with nothing to eat. A person loves, but undeniably feels the need to be loved back. Just like the colors, just like the plants, love needs to be watered, or else it would wither. I could love you for a lifetime, really I would. But I just couldn’t bare the fact that I was willing to hold the door open all these years, yet I can’t even hear the words ‘thank you’. I am sorry if all these seem too dull for you, but the world needs to turn for the sun to be able to rise again; or else the people would spend their lives believing that the moon radiates on its own.

I’m writing this because I miss you, I miss us. Look closer and see that I am not the ocean, I am not the moon, but I am a reflection of your love— if you still have any left. I am afraid that once you’re gone, I wouldn’t be myself anymore. I wasn’t vulnerable and I wasn’t blue. I wasn’t fiercely red, or vaguely lilac. All I remember was you were missing, the colors were gone and everything was black and white. And if I was given the chance to start all over, I would still let you paint my sky again.

#blog #journal